there’s nothing wrong with that is there? After all he must ‘deserve’ it!? Maybe he hit her first… Maybe he cheated on her… He must be weak… so many reason’s why it’s ‘okay’ for a woman to hit a man…
Before you go thinking I am condoning this behaviour – I’m NOT! Just as it is wrong for a man to hit a woman, it is also wrong for a woman to hit a man – for anyone to hit anyone else! Even in self-defense violence of any kind should only be a last resort!
What has prompted me to write this blog you wonder. Well following my disgust at the sexism and feminism that spurred me to write my ‘Is Chivalry Sexist?‘ post I have received many comments on that blog which have been interesting, informative and outright ‘sensibility’ in the face of such a controversial and provoking topic. One comment lead me to read another bloggers post (Just a Man Writing), where amongst the many brilliant (but lengthy – beware if you aren’t a big reader like me) articles I stumbled across a link to this video clip…
Now, I have always been aware that woman are as violent (if not more so) than men, that women have been perpetrators of many crimes against men – of domestic violence towards men, abusers of men, sexually harassing men, falsely accusing men of rape – be they partners, ex’s, colleagues and even strangers. Yet, the reactions of most of the passers by in this video came as a surprise even to me! The typical reactions being similar to those with which I started this post, people just walking by not at all concerned that anything ‘bad’ was taking place! The most disgusting being the woman whose response was to punch the air with glee and reported she was thinking “good for her, you go girl” as she thought he must ‘have it coming’! Thankfully, at least a few people had more conscience about them and actually called the police!
However, despite the continuing rise in cases of violence and abuse against men it is not so often you will see such things in the news as you will when women are the victims. The most recent news piece I could find about this topic in the UK was an article in the Scotsman. The reason there is not more reporting on this topic is multi-facted, the main fact being that men are less likely to report incidents to the police as they are less likely to believe that they have been a victim, or if they do believe it they have greater fear of being seen as ‘weak’, not being believed, or being blamed than they do of the abuse they are suffering. And as the Scotsman article indicates being seen as outright liars – men ‘manipulating the system’ (making false accusations) when their female victim ‘retaliates’ against them the ‘real’ abuser (the man) – of course women can’t be the ‘manipulators’ or ‘liars’ here can they!?
Another article is this one in the Guardian from a few weeks ago. This article suggests (not unsurprisingly) that feminism has played a large part in promoting the notion that ‘domestic violence’ was a crime against women and highlights the fact that until there are more campaigns to educate, secure services for and encourage male victims to come forward the true level of victims will remain unknown.
More needs to be done to help men who suffer at the hands of women, be it physical, mental, or emotional abuse or violence. Just as it would appear most people think violence against women is wrong, I would have liked to think we thought the same about violence against men – it would appear I am wrong and that is just very, very sad :(
The Mankind Initiative is one UK based charity that is working to provide help and support for male victims of domestic abuse and violence.
‘One in six men will be a victim of domestic abuse in their lifetime’
If you have been affected by the issues raised in this post you can call the Mankind Helpline on 01823 334244
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- Pols: Let’s help domestic violence victims (nydailynews.com)
- Academic culture is the etic rapist of emic meaning by classification, co-option, and preemption of secular paralanguage (part 1) (pornalysis.wordpress.com)
- Academic culture is the etic rapist of emic meaning by classification, co-option, and preemption of secular paralanguage (part 2) )pornalysis.wordpress.com)