About Me…


Hi, welcome to my blog!

I went ages without having a proper ‘about me’ page as I always hate writing this kind of thing, but finally here we are… Hope you like it! lol

My name is Sharon Howard; I am a 30 something widowed mother of two teenagers. I live in Redditch, England, just me and my kids.

I have been writing since I was about 8 years old, not so much ‘stories’ more what you will find in this blog, personal pieces, opinion pieces and essay style writing, with the rare, occasional story or poem thrown in.  As well as writing I love to read, I enjoy arts and crafts, music is very important to me and I like to sing, dance and travel – when the opportunities arise (and when I am physically and mentally capable). I am a Sagittarian Dragon, for those interested in the zodiac ;)

I am an over-educated, underachieving, jack of all trades.  Having a 2.1 BSc Hons and soon to complete a BA too. On top of that I am a qualified chef and have studied an eclectic mix of subjects which (if you are so inclined) you can see the full list on my CV/Resume here.

I was a full-time care for my husband until his death in 2009, he had a Brain Tumour (Oligodendroglioma) and my children – My son has Aspergers, ADHD and Dyspraxia (having finally outgrown his Epilepsy) and My daughter was born with a complex congenital Heart Condition (TGA, VSD, co-arctation of the aorta, excess tissue on the sub-pulmonary valve, leaky valves and narrow arteries – if you want to know what any of this means, just ask!). I have my own health concerns too…

Being a full-time carer restricted my ability to gain paid work for much of my life, however when I wasn’t doing paid work I maintained links with the outside world through volunteering and charity work as well as my studies.  As such I have experience of working in and for charitable organisations, schools, charity shops, and in paid work; Forensic Science, IT, Business Admin and the NHS (laboratory work and patient care).

I am currently looking for work as I left my most recent job, in the NHS, due to stigma and discrimination around my mental health. That is the other major thing about me – I have Borderline Personality Disorder which you can read more about here.

I think that is more than enough to get you started. If you want to know any more about me just ask or read my blogs – they reveal so much!

Thank you for reading; I hope you enjoy the rest of my site. Feel free to leave a comment I always love getting your feedback! :D

73 comments on “About Me…”

  3. Pingback: ROW80 – The Post-Birthday Check-in | Day in the life of a Busy Gal…

  4. Hi, Sharon!
    I found Your comment in my personal webpage.
    I will tell to you about what is missing in my webpage. The most important.
    I have gone through this. More than 15 years. This was a great love. Rare people experience something like, i think. Uh, the only thing what kept me from suicide was a thought about my daughter and as she will cry: – Dad! Dad! Why!
    And I said to myself: – you will be weak and irresponsible traitor! You must proceed living for people who need you.
    So I am here. I learned to understand and govern myself. I learned a lot from scientists, their lectures, papers and biographies. And try to give further, to people who can use this.
    Now my life is close to ordinary people’s. Working in Latvian Artificial Intelligence foundation, webpage http://artificialintelligence.lv editor. My two kids are married and have their own children. I am living in Riga (capital of Latvia) together wit my wife Irena, and for weekends we are leaving for our country house in Saulkrasti (60 km from Riga). Nice place for work, music and (supervised) dreams.
    The most important message for You: Nobody will care, nobody will and can help, except ourselves. You must take care for yourself.
    This thought was my main motto, the main hard rule for the last 15 years. Generally, it worked, it works. Evidence? I am still alive :) ).
    My e-mail imants.vilks@gmail.com
    PS. I would like to hear more from You.

    Reply

  5. Hi there. I would like to ask you one thing: how do you put the slider menu on your webpage?
    I follow this steps:
    1. Create new post
    2. Insert title
    3. Insert video/text
    4. Insert Featured Image – is on the right / bottom of the page
    5. Visibility: Public – Sticky -> Save
    6. Publish

    However, the slider menu doesn’t appear..I must pay for this “plugin”?

    Thanks.

    Reply

    • Hi,

      The plugin is a free widget with this theme.

      It would appear you are doing the right things for the slider (carousel) menu to appear.
      I found the ‘featured image’ was causing problems.
      If I ‘inserted it into the post as an image using the ‘insert image’icon above the new post box it wouldn’t work.
      But if I just used the ‘insert featured image’ at the bottom right and did not then ‘edit’ the image it worked.
      If the image you have selected is showing in the bottom right it should work.
      Once you have one ‘sticky post’ with a ‘featured image’correctly set up the slider will appear.
      Once you have over 5 featured posts in this way it will have the ‘arrows’ either end to slide to view the other featured posts.
      I hope this helps, you juts need to ‘mess about’ with the featured image bit until you get it right :)

      Reply

  10. Bright Blessings to you Sharon ;-) I just wanted to ask if you’d have time to take a quick look at my very new blogsite on BPD. Any feedack and comments would be so much appreciated… …I’ve linked your own blogsite in my resource page as yours is I feel so much more real as a blogsite than others… …hope that that was ok ;-)

    My new BPD blogsite address is: http://journal-of-a-mad-man.blogspot.com

    Kindest regards, Terry Mace

    Reply

    • Thanks Terry, will check yours out when my internet is sorted (just moving house atm). I appreciate being listed in your resource page, that is great thank you :D

      Reply

  11. Hi Sharon I enjoyed reading about your Skegness Butlins holiday and then realized that you were there exactly the same weekend as me and my family last year. I hope you don’t mind me asking this but can you remember the torrential downpour we had when we arrived just as everyone tried to get into the Skyline for their tea, My husband had a nasty fall just inside the doorway as the floor was so slippery with all the wet people trying to get in, I wasn’t with him, but some kind people helped him up
    and he managed to struggle and find me but the rest of his weekend was spent in bed, We reported it the next morning and now all these months later he is still in
    great pain and seeing doctors and specialists as he damaged knee ligaments etc, we have written to Butlins but they deny that there was any rain on the floor and
    say they always have someone standing at the Skyline doorways (We didn’t see anyone standing there, and the floor was covered in rain due to the volume of very
    wet people entering), I hope you don’t mind me bothering you with this but can you
    remember anything about the conditions, I keep thinking if only he had got the name of someone who witnessed it he could have got a little compensation to help with
    getting someone in to mow the lawns for us as he just cannot do so many things since his fall, he is 66 and the holiday was our treat to celebrate his retirement
    but now he can hardly do any of the little jobs he was planning to do. I Know I am
    clutching at straws hoping that you might remember anything about it but even finding someone who was there that weekend is an amazing coincidence. Thank you for reading this. Kind regards Judy.

    Reply

    • Hi Judy,

      I’m really sorry to hear about your husbands problems following the holiday. I don’t remember the accident itself, but yes I do recall the weather was horrendous, so wet! I wish I could be of more help to you but unfortunately I don’t have any extra information that may be of use to you :(

      Reply

  12. Hi Sharon, Thank you for replying, never mind I just thought there was a small
    chance, anyway it is nice to hear that you remember the rain storm and that we haven’t imagined it. Bye the way i was reading your comments about joint custody
    of children, and just wanted to say that my son went through a long 2 year court
    battle but eventually won 50/50 custody of his two boys, and it has been so good
    for the children, they are so happy, so some judges are looking at these cases
    more positively thank goodness. Bye Judy

    Reply

    • Hi Judy.
      Yes, the rain was horrific! I am really sorry I couldn’t be more help to you.
      Glad to hear your son got joint custody. I hope things continue to improve in this area as it has been very unfair for so long!

      Reply

  13. Hi showard76,

    My name is Kevin and I run the Mental Health Writers’ Guild and blog (among other ones) and was recently contacted concerning your becoming a Guild Member.

    Having had a chance to check out your blog I am delighted to include you in membership and so have today added your blog name to the Guild Members list (http://mentalhealthwritersguild.wordpress.com/guild-members/).

    Please feel free to visit that page and to copy the members logo and to display it on your blog as you see fit.

    Additionally please feel free to check out the blog’s pages. There is an award that is available for Guild Members to give out if someone’s blog inspires them and I have just recently announced a competition which as a Guild Member you are more than welcome to participate in.

    Should you have any other questions please feel free to contact me.

    Great that you are a member!

    Kind Regards,

    Kevin

    Reply

    • Hi Kevin,

      Thank you, I am very pleased to be part of the guild! I will get the logo added to my blog as soon as possible and check out the other pages and information :D

      Thank you again!

      Reply

  15. Hello my friend,
    I like your writing up here. I think if you keep doing what you’re doing now, you will have good future. So keep it up my friend! :-)
    I have a joyful ride in your blog, and now I’d like to invite you to visit mine. Thank you and have a wonderful day, my friend! :-)
    Subhan Zein

    Reply

  16. Pingback: You know you’re Borderline when… « Living with BPD

  20. SHaron, thank you for your response on the other page. If it is not too much to ask could i ask a question?

    I often felt with my partner that i had to often guess what she was thinking. When we split she made various statements that she had assumed from what she had said that i would/ would do certain things. For example after meeting me when after we split (a night when she told me how much she loved me and was very affectionate) she turned around and said that she would have thought from what she said i would not contact her the next day. She said no such thing that would give me that impression. Quite the opposite in fact. I have read that having to intuit the other persons feelings is a common thing when dealing with a partner with BPD. Do you think this is a fair comment? The reason i ask is that her friend and sister had seperately said that they often did not understand her. They are of course fully supportive of her since the breakup (as they rightly should be). I have just been doing a lot of soul searching lately and wonder whether i was fully to blame for those communication issues. I didnt zone out or not take on board her feelings when communicated. I just wonder how i missed knowing she was so unhappy to have ended things so abruptly after declaring her undying love.

    Thanks again for your blog.

    Reply

    • I think you may be right, we seem to have a problem expressing our true feelings verbally and fully, I think we are scared of asking for what we want in case it is too much to ask, scared to admit feelings in case we are wrong, generally just scared that we have everything mixed up and out of sync with reality, so we keep quiet and hope the other person can pick up on ‘hints’, and even when we do voice things we tend to downplay them or not put them across in a way the other person gets what we mean properly – writing it for ourselves (like I have done with this blog) even if no-one else ever read it helps us get it out in a clearer, articulate fashion…

      Reply

  23. Hi,

    Healthline is interested in contributing a guest post to your blog. We would be open to contributing any blog that would be of interest to your readers. Healthline bloggers have been featured on a variety of sites including:

    Washington Times: http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborhood/tango-mind-and-emotion/2012/aug/10/how-healthy-choices-easy/
    Natural News: http://www.naturalnews.com/036515_diabetes_strawberries_prevention.html
    Patch.com: http://strongsville.patch.com/blog_posts/where-and-what-to-eat-in-cleveland-to-beat-the-winter-blues

    Please let me know if you have any questions. Thank you in advance for your consideration.

    Warm Regards,
    Tracy

    Reply

  25. Sharon, because your blog inspires me, makes me laugh, makes me cry, and keeps me moving toward being a healthy compassionate person, I would like to present you with the Beautiful Blogger Award. You are free to accept it or not, but either way, I just wanted to thank you for your beautiful blog and all the brave words you share with us. Thank you.

    Ashtoreth

    Reply

  26. I just wanted to say that I think you are a very strong person.

    With all that’s happened in your life, I feel ashamed that I’m complaining and upset about my own. Please know that you have a wonderful attitude and I’m glad you’re writing about it all!

    Reply

  28. Hi Sharon
    I found your blog by accident. My daughter is 16 and would appear to exhibit 7 of the 9 requirements for BPD. ( They won’t diagnose her in Australia until they are 18). She is totally overwhelmed by all that is going on in her head. I am so afraid for her. She does not believe anything can change or get better. And that is probably true until she realises she can do something. She is seeing a psychiatrist but will not participate, sigh. It is so hard to watch. There is a lot of stigma and misinformation which does not help anyone.
    So it was good to see that there are people who can live good lives with the illness.
    All my best wishes
    Nadine

    Reply

    • Hi Nadine,

      Thank you, indeed the key to recovery or at least learning to live a stable life with BPD is what ‘you’ as the individual with the condition is willing to do for yourself to try to overcome the symptoms. If possible getting help to learn how to do this will be a huge benefit as not everyone has the strength to do it alone, but with the right support I believe it is possible to reach stability. Not participating with her psychiatrist your daughter is holding herself back from getting better, as you have recognised, I hope she will see that she is the key and realise that she can do something to help herself get past this horrible condition and lead a happy fulfilling life! Best wishes to you both and fingers crossed she sees soon that things can get better :)

      Reply

  29. Wow! Thank you so much for this blog! I can’t imagine how easy, difficult, scary, or therapeutic it may be to share so much with all of us….but I also can’t express enough how helpful & enlightening it is to read.

    My wife (for now, anyway?) has always been a little ‘quirky’. She recently joined the Navy as an officer and deployed this spring. Well, what was a pretty good new marriage when she left quickly fell to pieces and she filed for divorce (from the ship), has completely demonized me, and can only respond with much hatred toward her perceived evil motivations for anything I say or do (like taking care of her dogs while she’s deployed & I recently paid a tax bill for her so it wouldn’t be delinquent….she found some purely selfish and twisted reasons for why I did those things).

    Her mother had history of BP…but refused to stay in treatment, had an awful relationship with my wife, and accidentally drowned in the bathtub Christmas morning 2011. After I noticed the extreme personality changes and extreme behavior in my wife, I started looking into what she claimed her mother suffered from and what she herself was diagnosed with a few years ago…but refuses to believe. The more I read, talk with others, and reflect on our life together…the more convinced I am that she has BP. She has demonstrated most (if not all) of the diagnostic criteria throughout our relationship, especially now…and even years before we met (from what she & others have told me).

    Our only current communication is by email, which is AWFUL….she ignores anything “nice” or normal, and only responds to what she perceives as a reason to fight….even though I would’ve never imagined those things as being reasons to fight. The last time we were able to talk on phone (two months ago) she spent 20 minutes saying the meanest, nastiest things I’ve ever heard said about me or by her….toward anyone. Most of which I still do not understand any reasoning behind. But, I just kept asking questions and let yell at me….after 20 minutes of that, we talked for over an hour. It was one of the best conversations we’ve had all year! We were even laughing, joking, sharing….it was great. The next morning she emailed me a nasty mean message….as if the phone call the night before never even occurred.

    I’ve been going to mood disorder support groups, and I’m currently reading Stop Walking in Eggshells (GREAT book!). I was doing my nightly googling when I came across this blog. I’ve read 5 posts so far….and I wish I found them years ago. Fantastically insightful.

    It tears me apart thinking of anyone, especially my beautiful bride, going through all this. But, I see so much of her…and us in much of what you write. Ironically….she is the Mental Health Officer for her ship. I wish she would start reading your blog too….but, I know it’s probably a really bad idea for me to suggest it to her. :-(

    I see her repeating, almost exactly, so many things that she claims BP lead her own mother to do. I desperately want to save our marriage…however unlikely. But, even more than that…I wish for her to accept her condition and seek treatment. I just can’t bear to think about what her life might be like if she remains in complete denial and never finds help. I fear something happening while she’s deployed & what might result. I fear how it may affect others relying on her for their own mental health & safety. but, most of all….I fear getting a phone call 10-20 years from now & finding out she’s also repeated her mother’s final moments.

    Any advice suggestions? …other than keep reading, of course! :-)

    Thank you again -

    Reply

    • Hi Dave,

      Thank you. Coping with such a huge change in her life (being deployed) may have sent you wife into panic mode, which will have triggered all her abandonment fears, which would always be a major issue in a relationship anyway but are enhanced by the situation. Her best defence when feeling like this is offence – hence she has (attempted to at least) abandoned you before you can do it to here, and not seeing you has given the splitting process (which occurs often anyway but more so in times of relationship difficulties, whether real or imagined) time to paint you black and demonize you – hence the nastiness.

      I think you are probably doing as much as you can by continuing to try and support her, not giving up and finding out as much as you can about BPD (so yes, keep on reading, lol) but the reality is the only person who can really help and change is your wife, if she won’t get help or won’t work on trying to help herself she is unlikely to get any better :( acceptance of your condition and then the determination to do whatever it takes to get well are what is needed for someone with BPD, help and support with that is important but until the person with BPD is willing to do this n-one else can make much difference and will just be swept along in the tidal waves of confusing emotions, outbursts and chaos. So, as hard as it is and how much it will be thrown in your face if she is in denial or not wanting to get help at this time the key thing you can do is try to get her to get help – but she will turn this against you! :(

      Best wishes
      Sharon

      Reply

  30. I am amazed that you walked ‘out’ and have exposed yourself like you have….something that seems counter to everything I have read about BPD. But, I guess, if you can reach a place where you can do what you have done, then recovery as a process, is something that you can truly embrace. I can only say that I wish I could somehow, through you, ‘facilitate’ (choose another word…) such a direction for someone I know who I am certain suffers from BPD…. but I know I cannot…. and detachment is all that I can do. Sad.

    Reply

    • Hi Finn,
      Thanks for your comment. When I discovered about my BPD at first I kept quiet, but eventually I decided that to help me recover and hopefully help others either with their own recovery or for understanding someone who has BPD I thought sharing my experiences would be helpful and good therapy, it turns ut I was right on both counts! Hope you find some peace, I can understand why you may need to detach from a (potential) BPD if they can’t/won’t/aren’t getting help to overcome it :(
      Best Wishes
      Sharon x

      Reply

  31. That has to be the most helpful thing that anyone has said to me regarding this…. Thank you so much. I look forward to learning from you, reading more…

    Reply

  32. I was wondering if I could possibly send you an email for some advice? Your article on ending a friendship with someone with BPD was so well written and thoughtful and I would really appreciate your insight on my specific situation. Thank you so much for your time.

    Reply

  33. I have just stumbled across your blog coincidentally but I think I read your blog on the Mind website about being discriminated against. The colours in your hair were my first clue…
    Hope you’re feeling better than when you wrote the blog for Mind (I believe it was you) and things are looking up for you.

    Reply

    • Thank you, yes I wrote a few posts for Mind including the one about being discriminated against at work :) Things are much better now but it is still hard work x

      Reply

  34. Hi Sharon!

    I recently came across your blog and have been enjoying reading through it very much.

    I was wondering if you would be interested in sharing your blog on Glipho? Glipho is a new social blogging network that aims to promote the writing of its users and help build their audiences. We are trying to establish a creative community at Glipho, and your blog is just what we are looking for.

    As your blog is powered by WordPress, you can simply import all your old posts to Glipho without affecting your existing blog at all. You can use your Glipho account to connect to any other major social network accounts you may own, so you can spread your blog as far as possible. We also use our own social media accounts to promote your content.

    If you’re interested check out our website at http://glipho.com and have a look around. Please feel free to ask me any questions, and if you would like to receive an invite to set up an account.

    Have a great day,

    Teo

    Glipho Limited
    14 Suite 3 D
    Docklands Business Centre
    10-16 Tiller Road
    London E14 8PX

    (e): teo@glipho.com
    (w): http://www.glipho.com

    Reply

  35. I got a few what I think are pings linked to your page… I have no idea if those go to you. I don’t have a clue how it works. I’m sorry if it’s driving you crazy!!

    Reply

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