Helping others help you as a BPD Sufferer – Guest Post by Brenda


"understanding things is overrated"

“understanding things is overrated” (Photo credit: Geff Rossi)

Borderline Personality Disorder is often defined by the inability of the sufferer to maintain lasting, stable, rewarding relationships with others. I know, because my sister was diagnosed with BPD just a few years ago. The diagnosis itself came as incredible relief to our family, because it explained so much.

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6 Non Common Signs of Eating Disorders – Guest post by Jezebel


no food!

no food! (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Eating disorders are becoming increasingly common these days for people of all ages. For this reason, it is important to be able to identify telltale signs of an eating disorder. What many people do not realize, however, is that there are many indications of eating disorders that are easy to miss. The following article will discuss several signs of an eating disorder that are commonly overlooked.

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5 reasons having a Mental Health Condition is nothing to be ashamed of…


Mental Health Awareness Ribbon

May is BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) Awareness Month. BPD is a mental health condition that comes with a lot of stigma attached to it. Also known as Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder, as this name suggests it is a condition characterised by unstable emotions, you can read more about what BPD is here. For now I just wanted to share ‘5 reasons having a mental health condition is nothing to be ashamed of’ to help raise awareness of the difficulties of living with a mental health problem…

We all know that having a mental health condition brings a lot of stigma and discrimination towards those people who are unfortunate enough to be diagnosed with anything from depression to Borderline Personality Disorder, Schizophrenia or Bipolar.

With one in four people being diagnosed with a mental health problem at some point in their life, chances are you know someone who has one even if you don’t have one yourself!

Some conditions come with more stigma, prejudice and taboo than others but whichever it is the ‘mental’ label automatically means we often feel the need to cover up for our illness and feel ashamed to admit to our problems. However, doing this can actually make things harder for us. Continue reading

Five good reasons why people don’t talk about their mental health – Guest post by Carolyn


Wordle: Epidemic of mental ill-health

Carolyn from Take Five will be writing a guest post specifically for Day in the Life shortly, in the meantime she asked if I would share this post with you. Pleas hop over and check out her blog ‘Take Five‘ after you’ve finished reading.

You may have seen TV adverts recently to raise awareness of how we treat people dealing with mental ill-health. Here’s my take on the top five reasons why people don’t talk more freely about the issues involved.

Top 10 Ways to Alleviate Depression


I read this post yesterday and thought I really should share it! – Top 10 Ways to Alleviate Depression. Reblogged from Zazenlife

Jim CarreyOwen Wilson, Ellen DegeneresRussell Brand;  are all comedians that suffer from depression.

Depression is a commonly diagnosed mental illness that can range from mild to severe low mood  leading to suicidal ideation and attempts.

You would think these happy-go-lucky, funny, rich famous people have no reason to be depressed, but depression is not picky and can sneak its way through anyone no matter the shape, size, sex, financial status, social status and occupation of the person.

Yes, there are environmental variables that can exacerbate depressed mood, triggers that cause onset of depression, poor diets, work pressures, financial stress,relational conflicts, health concerns, loss of a loved one and chronic stress, all in which contribute to depression.

People carry depression genes

IT’S IN THE BRAIN.

More than likely, someone who experiences depression is predisposed to it, meaning they carry a “depression” gene. An individual’s biological make up is believed to be the etiology of the disease. You will usually see patterns of depression in families because depression is hereditary just like diabetes, cancer, obesity, height and eye color is. That does not mean if depression runs in your family you will definitely have it. It just means that you may be more sensitive to it and would benefit from learning prevention techniques or coping skills to avoid or manage it just as someone who may watch their sugar intake if both of their parents had diabetes.

Depression can get in the way of our jobs, productivity, family relationships, friendships, motivation, creativity, self-care, concentration,sex life, sleep and overall wellness. Although depression is an intrusive, destructive and uncomfortable experience, there is hope to alleviating depression, but first we have to be aware of it.

Warning signs of depression

Warning Signs-If you experience at least five out of eight of these symptoms for two weeks or more you may be suffering from Major Depression, but definitely see a mental health professional first to talk in more detail.

1. Subjective feelings of sadness and emptiness (tearful) for most of the day nearly every day

2. Diminished interest and/or pleasure in all daily activities

3.Weight loss or weight gain, loss or increase of appetite

4. Insomnia or hypersomnia nearly each day

5. Psychomotor agitation or retardation nearly every day

6.Fatigue and/or loss of energy nearly every day

7.Feelings of hopelessness or excessive guilt nearly every day

8.Diminished ability to focus, concentrate, make decisions and think clearly nearly every day

9.Recurrent thoughts of death, disease, suicidal ideation without a plan or suicidal ideation with a plan and suicide attempts.

Top ten ways to alleviate depression.

1.) DON’T ISOLATE!

Depression eats away our desire to socialize and be near people. Since depression is related to feelings of worthlessness and loneliness, isolating will only reinforce and justify your idea that you are not worth being around people and keep you sitting alone in your own head.

Socializing keeps you distracted and connected with others. Emotional support is key to feeling better, even if it’s just a hug from your friend. As hard as it is for a depressed individual to get up and get moving, sometimes you must force yourself up and do something you don’t want to do because if you are depressed you more than likely don’t want to do anything. Depression makes everything a lot more complex and difficult than what it is, so whatever social plans you make, keep it simple so you don’t overwhelm yourself. Make plans to go for lunch or a drive, not a ski trip just yet. It gets easier with practice!

2.) DON’T “MUSTURBATE!”

According to the well-known American psychologist Albert Ellis, founder of Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy(REBT), individuals who “Musturbate” tend to become more depressed than those who don’t musturbate.

What is musturbating?

Ellis describes musturbation as the tendency for humans to place  rules and demands on themselves and hold thinking patterns with internal dialogue such as “I MUST do this or I MUST do that. Ellis came up with a list of words that human beings tend to use that cause intense feelings of anxiety, guilt, anger and depression.

Musturbatory Words:

Must

Should

Shouldn’t

Have to

Need to

These are just a few of the commonly used phrases that Ellis believed to be a cause of emotional distress, depression and other mental health issues. For example, some people may hold the belief that their friend or significant other SHOULDN’T break plans with them or a mom/wife may hold the belief that she MUST have dinner ready before 6:00. Thinking and talking using these phrases will only make things worse. Try replacing those “Musturbatory’ thinking patterns with more realistic and easy-going words. Lets try it.

Mom’s Musturbatory thoughts – “I MUST have dinner ready before 6:00 or else my family won’t eat on time and I’ll disappoint them, therefore I’m a bad mom.”

Mom’s healthier thoughts – “I’d like to try to have dinner ready by 6:00, if not I’m sure 7:00 will be fine; my family isn’t starving and can tolerate feeling hungry for an extra hour, it doesn’t mean I’m a bad mom or wife, I just had a busy day.”

Doesn’t the 2nd one sound so much more easing?!

So anytime you find yourself using words like these, try replacing them because you really don’t HAVE to do many things you think you do. Ellis thinks we really “SHOULD” implement this to start feeling better.

3.) Structure

Make a daily schedule for yourself to avoid having to make too many decisions as to what to do for the day. Because depression can cause indecisiveness, have plans already decided on to avoid any added stress or feelings of guilt on the decision you made. You may want someone to help you with this as it may be hard to find the motivation to plan activities. Buy a planner and use it.

4.) Stand clear of boredom

Keep your mind busy and active. When we have too much time on our hands we think too much. We start thinking about how horrible we feel and feel sorry for ourselves.

Simple activities like organizing your desk, color coordinating your clothes, cooking a new recipe, shopping, decorating a room in your house, watching a movie ,playing a video game or reading a book are activities that can take up your time and distract you from yourself. Just try to stay out of your head because that will only feed the depression.

5.) REFRAIN FROM BLACK AND WHITE THINKING

Try to see the gray areas in situations instead of labeling things as either BLACK or WHITE, good or bad and all or nothing.

If we develop a pattern of perceiving life events and ourselves as so ABSOLUTE, we leave no room for all of the shades of gray in between.

For example, if your best friend forgot to call you back one day when you really needed them we can choose to anger ourselves more and cause more distress by labeling them as a bad friend and terminating the friendship, which most likely will lead to feelings of anger, guilt and depression.

Instead, we can see the gray area which would be, “It sucks they didn’t call me back,I’m pissed off right now, but they are my best friend for a reason and they probably didn’t mean it to hurt me”. You can even apply this to your own emotions. Some people who overcome depression get really upset when they have a day when they’re not happy therefore they believe they are supposed to be depressed and sometimes it can lead into a vicious cycle. It’s ok to be in the middle, average, or just “ok”.

6.)Act as if you are not depressed

When you’re depressed try to act as if you’re not.

Don’t shlep around in sweat pants and an unwashed face. Try to put on nice clothes, take a shower and force a smile. Train your brain to believe you’re not depressed. You will be surprised how helpful this could be and research indicates that we have the power to change our neural pathways in our brains just by practicing alternative styles of thinking and behaving. See this one as a brain exercise.

7.) Eat right

Eating healthy balanced meals also plays a role in helping to treat depression. There is a correlation between depressed individuals and deficiencies in Folic Acid, vitamins b12 and b6 and omega 3 fats; most commonly correlated with a Folic Acid deficiency. You can find Folic Acid in beans, leafy green vegetables and seeds.

8.) Exercise

There are two reasons why exercise helps alleviate depression.

One is the release of endorphins commonly known as “runner’s high”. These endorphins that are released during exercise attach to the same receptors as opiates do concluding that elevated mood and sense of elation occurs during and after exercise.

Secondly, exercise improves our self-esteem, the way we look and gives us a sense of accomplishment. You don’t have to join a gym to exercise!

9) Sleep right

Not getting enough sleep or getting too much sleep affects the chemical activity in our brain leading to more disturbed mood, fatigue and irritability. Try getting at least 6 hours per night and no more than 9 hours per night. If you have difficulty falling asleep or experience sleep disturbance avoid alcohol and caffeine as much as you can, clear the clutter in your bedroom and do not bring any stressful triggers in your bedroom like bills, storage, conflict. Keep your room strictly for relaxation.

Laughter is healthy

10.)LAUGHTER

All of the comedians listed above have the right idea.

Laughter is like medicine for both the mind and the body.

Laughing is associated with happiness and friendships. Laughter brings people closer and creates intimacy across many cultures. It also helps us to physically relieve stress and relaxes our muscles for as long as 45 min after our laughing episode.

Laughing releases endorphins, leaving us feeling peppy and light. When you can laugh at yourself, your catastrophic and disastrous perception of your life can change and you may start  not taking yourself so seriously.

Keep in mind depression is a serious illness and these tips for alleviating depression are easier said than done for some people.

You may want to seek professional help such as a psychiatrist who can prescribe you anti-depressant medication at first to help get you moving. Then, you can see a psychologist, mental health counselor or any trained mental health professional to guide you through the suggestions listed above.