2013 My Year in Review


IMG_0595Following on from my update on my recovery from BPD; where I mentioned the how the difficulties achieving and maintaining recovery are compounded by unrelenting crisis, I will now share an insight into some of the challenges/crises I have faced in the past year that make my achievement all the more remarkable… Continue reading

Should you quit while you’re ahead?


English: Keep Calm and Carry On UK government ...

English: Keep Calm and Carry On UK government poster (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

or in my case while you are behind!

I’ve never been one to have much luck as it is, I’m sure some of my readers would even agree that is an understatement of epic proportions, but it just keeps on happening… Continue reading

Recovering from BPD – Self-sabotage and heading for another crisis


BPD Objects

BPD Objects (Photo credit: Vinally2010)

I was doing well, my recovery from BPD was progressing, so I told myself, but recently I noticed that something wasn’t quite ‘right’ and as usual identifying what exactly was wrong was hard.

I think I may have been lying to myself for a while, I think I may have been masking again. Falling apart inside, outside appearing to be doing well. I think I am self-sabotaging…

I have been slowly picking at trying to work out exactly why I am slipping off the recovery tracks and what has caused this, then yesterday I was replying to an email I had received from someone about BPD and as I wrote my own situation started spilling out and I had a realisation about what is going wrong and why…

This is what I wrote in that email (details of the other person not included)… Continue reading

2013 – proof that ’13′ is unlucky for some?


Unlucky 13

Unlucky 13 (Photo credit: tim ellis)

I hoped this year would be different…

I hoped this year would be better…

I said ’2013 is gonna be my year’ I intended for it to be a happy and prosperous year, after the last few years I could do with a bit of goodness and happiness for a change, by golly do I deserve a break from all the bad things…

So, is 2013 going to be my year or will it just prove that 13 is unlucky for some (including me!?)… Continue reading

Recovery from BPD is an ongoing battle…


English: Emotions Q-sort

English: Emotions Q-sort (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The last couple of weeks have been hard work, it has made me question again my ‘recovery’ status as I have not been doing well and have discovered that I don’t have the emotional stability I thought I had.

Don’t get me wrong I have handled it much better than I would have a few months ago, so the progress made is not lost, but there is still a way to go and a daily battle of wills with myself to keep on top of it all. I have had strong urges to self-harm but not given in to them, I have had some intense emotions but have overcome them with out overreacting, so I guess that’s good work, but the battle is really hard again at the moment due to the things that have brought my mood down.

There have been a few things that have triggered these difficulties coping… Continue reading