2011 really has been the year where I became the Pinball Wizard, lol (see my pinball machine analogy to understand!).
2011 the year when Steve Jobs, the lesser known (though more important) inventor of C and developer of Unix Dennis Ritchie and the News of the World died and errrm the Japanese tsunami killed over 15,000 people… err were there any good milestones this year? Oh, we had a Royal Wedding (if that counts as good news? lol)
A year ago my blog was almost dead. I started blogging with WordPress in January 2010 with my first blog post on 7th January 2010 being Hello World and hadn’t blogged since the 28th June when I shared my Graduation Ceremony. I finished 2010 with a grand total of 1414 hits on my blog for the whole year! An average of 4 hits per day 😦
When I finally returned on January 2011 with ‘New year, new post‘ my blogging continued to be infrequent until April when I combined a few 30 day ‘status’ challenges from Facebook and Twitter to make a daily blog post – somehow I managed to keep this up despite the fact that April was possibly the worst month of the year for me…
So what has happened in this past year?
Let’s start with the yucky, before we get to the good stuff…
2011 The Ugly Bits
Going into crisis in April was probably the ugliest part of the year.
My partner was away in Afghanistan with the TA, I had just switched jobs from a nice little job in the Lab’s at the local hospital to a role that put me on the front-line with patients in the X-Ray department.
I guess in hindsight it was the ‘abandonment’ issues caused by my BPD that lay at the heart of my crisis and anything and everything that could exacerbate this did precisely that.To summarise, I ended up going through a massive impulsive phase and behaved very badly, then self-harm kicked in and finally a massive overdose on the eve of my partners return from Afghanistan for R&R. The end result, a trip to A&E and being homeless for the following month. This is certainly one month I would not like to revisit and hope that my BPD never gets that bad again, as it nearly cost me everything 😥
Of course, even when this was over things didn’t get better quickly and I have suffered plenty more bad periods with the BPD since – though mostly self-harm and depressive states rather than the manic phases that were occurring in April (which are on the whole more dangerous).
The Sad/Bad times
I spent a long time off work ‘sick’ as a result of my breakdown in April and while I eventually managed to return to work it didn’t end up working out for me. I struggled from the end of June to the beginning of October trying to settle back into my job and battle the constant anxiety (which was getting worse all the time) but in the end an incident of discriminatory behaviour finally made me crack and I left. Leaving me (as I am now) unemployed and due to my mental health problems potentially unemployable – but I am also not entitled to any welfare benefits – catch 22…
Having found a new interest that I really enjoyed and being asked to help out by the team captain I set about working hard to do a range of things to help my Pool Team grow and improve – only to be shot down in a furious blaze by the very person who asked me to help out in the first place. Kicked off the team and banned from the pub, for helping and putting my hand in my pocket to buy team shirts – not exactly the kind of positive response one normally expects for having tried to help – but then I guess Mental Fool can understand what I mean as she had a similar problem with her Judo Club; neither of us have been able to go back to the hobbies we put our heart and soul into – but you know what, hard as it has been overall it’s THEIR LOSS!!!
The Fun and Funky
I don’t do ‘resolutions’ as I see them as doomed to failure, I prefer to take small steps towards goals and try new things instead. So at the start of the year I published a list of ‘New things to try for 2011‘ which included:
I have managed to visit Stonehenge and Avebury, I have taken up photography as a hobby – but also did a photography class and an OU course to help me learn how to take better pictures, I attended the Birmingham Memorabilia Show and the London Comic Con and I have been on a Track Day. As you can see the main things I didn’t get round to trying were all the ‘physical’ activities (and the solo trip as my planned solo cruise ended up with my fiance joining me!). The reason for not doing the physical activities is that I had a lot of physiotherapy sessions earlier in the year due to my leg and feet problems, which led to a diagnosis of Hypermobility and as a result I have to be careful what physical activities I do – so such things won’t be featuring on my 2012 list! But all in all I think I have managed to try a few new things this year and even added extra’s as the year went on – especially blog and writing related ‘new things’.
Other good things that have happened this year, well I think I covered a lot of that in my recent post Mental Health Mondays – Happiness but basically they include:
- Getting the hot tub
- Trip to Stonehenge
- Old friends being ‘there’ for me
- Meeting Russell Tovey at the Memorabilia Show 🙂
- Getting engaged to C
- Norway Cruise
- Blogging – my own and guesting, especially for Mind
- London Film and Comic Con (LFCC)
- Meeting Corey Feldman at LFCC
- Theatre trips
- learning to play Pool and being on the Pool team
- Butlins holidays
- PGL Holiday
- Making new friends online and IRL
- The growth in popularity of my blog
- My new OU courses – getting back to studying after a break!
- The vagina monologues
- My Birthday jewellery set
All in all plenty of good things to make up for the bad stuff – but as always it’s remembering the good stuff we find so much more difficult!
And of course the blog itself has improved so much compared to this time last year, I now get more hits in a week than I had for the whole of 2010!
So I look forward to 2012 with high hopes for an even better year, with none of the crappy stuff that dragged down parts of this year.
Be sure to look out for my new list of things to try for 2012 early next week – if you have any suggestions for me feel free to leave them in the comments below! 😀
Happy New Year 😀
- The 2011 This Week in Mentalists Awards (twim-blog.org)
- Marketing Resolutions for 2012 and Beyond (stepbystepmarketing.com)
- Tribute to Steve Jobs & Dennis Ritchie! (arindammohapatra.wordpress.com)
- Top of The Pops, My Top 5 (mondessinnumero1.wordpress.com)
- My New Year Resolutions… (hawth.wordpress.com)
- Year in Review: Smartest Things to Do Before 2012 (theworkathomewoman.com)
- Choosing Your Top Ten Blog Posts- Spread the Word from Wrathofzombie’s Blog ” Role-playing (wrathofzombie.wordpress.com)
- 2011 In Tech: A Year Of Great Losses (techcrunch.com)
- My Most Inspiring Books of 2011 (seanclark.com)
- 2011 Year In Review (redhead81.wordpress.com)
- Top 10 of 2011 (philpresents.wordpress.com)
- A Look Back At 10 Favorite Activities From the Student Blogging Challenges (theedublogger.com)
- Get Read-y For 2012 Challenge (leeswammes.wordpress.com)
- Dear Me, A Letter to Myself @ 15 with Additional Thoughts (klextin.wordpress.com)
- 2011 year in review: technology (cbsnews.com)
- Blogs, Social Media, CMSes : 2011 Year End Review (fractastical.com)
- If You’re Looking For Blog Visitors Here Are A Few Simple Suggestions (mykidcan.org)
- Best of 2011: Books for, by and about expats (thedisplacednation.com)
- chris.nothling.com – 2011 Review (chrisnothling.com)
- Technology trends of 2011: year in review (telegraph.co.uk)
- YouTube’s 2011 Year in Review (blogworld.com)
- Year in Review 2011 (ycorpblog.com)
- RAF airman’s Afghanistan blog a big hit (ukforcesafghanistan.wordpress.com)
- Vote: All the best, all the worst in 2011 (ac360.blogs.cnn.com)
- Will 2011 really be “a horrible year”? (blogs.confused.com)
- 2011 Year in Pictures: Lego Recreates Year From UC Davis to Royal Wedding [PHOTOS] (ibtimes.com)
- A Year in Review (storytellingnomad.wordpress.com)
- 2011 My Year in Review Part 1 (showard76.wordpress.com)
- 2011 My Year in Review Part 2 (showard76.wordpress.com)
- 2011 My Year in Review Part 3 (showard76.wordpress.com)