This is the original anonymously created list that I have had since the mid 1990’s. It is a list of statement’s that will mean everything to people from Birmingham, UK but are unlikely to be understood by non-brummies.
I know there is a Facebook group which has an updated version with new things included and people submit their own ideas regularly, but I really think you can’t beat the original – what do you think?
1. You say “town” and expect everyone to know which one.
2. You have never been to Aston Hall but you know intimately the backstreets of Weston-Super-Mare.
3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Erdington to Northfield at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can’t find Coventry on a map.
4. You always have the exact change when you board a bus.
5. You think Maypole, Druid’s Heath, California, Bangham Pit and Gannow sound perfectly normal names for places.
6. The new tramway should never be called anything prissy, like the Metro.
7. You believe that being able to swear at people makes you multi-lingual.
8. You’ve considered punching someone just for implying that you have a funny accent.
9. You can’t see anything strange about your three favourite bands being ELO, Black Sabbath and UB40.
10. You like sterilised milk.
11. You know that Birmingham has more miles of canal than Venice.
12. You feel the need to share this information with everybody you meet.
13. You only have strong views on art when the City Council put up a three-dimensional piece of it in the City Centre.
14. You consider Sutton Park the ‘countryside’
15. You think Cannon Hill Park is ‘nature’.
16. You could never see anything odd about Crossroads.
17. You pay 1,200 a month for a studio apartment the size of a walk-in wardrobe in Brindley Place and you think it’s a bargain.
18. You’ve been to Wolverhampton twice and needed Air/Sea rescue to get home both times.
19. You pay more each month to park your car in the city centre than you do in rent.
20. You have dinner at lunchtime and go home to tea.
21. You haven’t been to the Rag Market since your mom took you there to get a school blazer in 1974 but have to date signed 37 petitions to stop it closing.
22. You go to Broad Street and pay £3 without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28p.
23. You believe that Drucker’s Vienna patisserie was invented for you.
24. You spend the waking hours complaining about Birmingham Cable and Travel West Midlands.
25. You moaned about the cost of the NEC, ICC, NIA, Symphony Hall etc.
26. You tell everybody you met Bill Clinton and the Eurovision Song Contest came here because of the vision of the city council.
27. You can’t see anything wrong with a bus route that’s twenty-two miles long, takes four hours and finishes where it starts.
28. You just know that the Millennium Dome, National Stadium and 1992 Olympics went to the wrong place.
29. When anybody asks you to recommend a good Indian you can provide them with a list of a hundred.
30. You’ve heard of something called the Black Country but you can’t be certain that it exists.
31. You live on a housing estate with a larger population than some countries.
32. Your grocer is Indian, your off-licence owner is Jamaican, your landlord is Pakistani, your laundry man is Chinese, your favourite barman is Irish, your favourite cafe owner is Austrian, the watch seller on your corner is Bangladeshi, your last cabbie was Pakistani, your newsagent is Bangladeshi and your favourite chip shop owner is Cypriot.
33. You think pork scratchings are health food.
34. You think “getting a buzz” refers to public transport rather than drugs.
35. You get into fights with everybody who says that Manchester is the Second City.
36. You think that the Rotunda is a smart piece of architecture.
37. You think all arguments can be ended with the words “Shakespeare was a Brummie”.
38. You are terrified of offending a Welshman in case he cuts off your water.
39. You think the Lickey Hills is the Lost Continent.
40. The last man you heard taking the p*ss out of the place is due to wake up any month now.
Is there a list of things that relate to where you are from? Why not share yours!?
- I’m From Birmingham, West Midlands, UK. (pinkbananaworld.com)
- UK Birmingham Christmas Market (leggotunglei808.wordpress.com)
- Help me get this lost property back to its owner! (ask.metafilter.com)
- Businessman acquires Birmingham’s threatened Nightingale Club (pinkbananaworld.com)
- Ten things to do in Birmingham UK Londra♥ (leggotunglei808.wordpress.com)
- Do automated phones understand Brummie? (guardian.co.uk)
- Why Birmingham needs an elected mayor in its story – guest post by Gisela Stuart (thechamberlainfiles.wordpress.com)
- Brain Teaser – Where Do You Come From? (librarianbrain.wordpress.com)