You know you’re a Brummie when…

English: Skyline of Birmingham, UK. Buildings ...

A Brummie is a person from Birmingham, UK.

This is the original anonymously created list that I have had since the mid 1990’s. It is a list of statement’s that will mean everything to people from Birmingham, UK but are unlikely to be understood by non-brummies.

I know there is a Facebook group which has an updated version with new things included and people submit their own ideas regularly, but I really think you can’t beat the original – what do you think?

1. You say “town” and expect everyone to know which one.

2. You have never been to Aston Hall but you know intimately the backstreets of Weston-Super-Mare.

3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Erdington to Northfield at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can’t find Coventry on a map.

4. You always have the exact change when you board a bus.

5. You think Maypole, Druid’s Heath, California, Bangham Pit and Gannow sound perfectly normal names for places.

6. The new tramway should never be called anything prissy, like the Metro.

7. You believe that being able to swear at people makes you multi-lingual.

8. You’ve considered punching someone just for implying that you have a funny accent.

9. You can’t see anything strange about your three favourite bands being ELO, Black Sabbath and UB40.

10. You like sterilised milk.

11. You know that Birmingham has more miles of canal than Venice.

12. You feel the need to share this information with everybody you meet.

13. You only have strong views on art when the City Council put up a three-dimensional piece of it in the City Centre.

14. You consider Sutton Park the ‘countryside’

15. You think Cannon Hill Park is ‘nature’.

16. You could never see anything odd about Crossroads.

17. You pay 1,200 a month for a studio apartment the size of a walk-in wardrobe in Brindley Place and you think it’s a bargain.

18. You’ve been to Wolverhampton twice and needed Air/Sea rescue to get home both times.

19. You pay more each month to park your car in the city centre than you do in rent.

20. You have dinner at lunchtime and go home to tea.

21. You haven’t been to the Rag Market since your mom took you there to get a school blazer in 1974 but have to date signed 37 petitions to stop it closing.

22. You go to Broad Street and pay £3 without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28p.

23. You believe that Drucker’s Vienna patisserie was invented for you.

24. You spend the waking hours complaining about Birmingham Cable and Travel West Midlands.

25. You moaned about the cost of the NEC, ICC, NIA, Symphony Hall etc.

26. You tell everybody you met Bill Clinton and the Eurovision Song Contest came here because of the vision of the city council.

27. You can’t see anything wrong with a bus route that’s twenty-two miles long, takes four hours and finishes where it starts.

28. You just know that the Millennium Dome, National Stadium and 1992 Olympics went to the wrong place.

29. When anybody asks you to recommend a good Indian you can provide them with a list of a hundred.

30. You’ve heard of something called the Black Country but you can’t be certain that it exists.

31. You live on a housing estate with a larger population than some countries.

32. Your grocer is Indian, your off-licence owner is Jamaican, your landlord is Pakistani, your laundry man is Chinese, your favourite barman is Irish, your favourite cafe owner is Austrian, the watch seller on your corner is Bangladeshi, your last cabbie was Pakistani, your newsagent is Bangladeshi and your favourite chip shop owner is Cypriot.

33. You think pork scratchings are health food.

34. You think “getting a buzz” refers to public transport rather than drugs.

35. You get into fights with everybody who says that Manchester is the Second City.

36. You think that the Rotunda is a smart piece of architecture.

37. You think all arguments can be ended with the words “Shakespeare was a Brummie”.

38. You are terrified of offending a Welshman in case he cuts off your water.

39. You think the Lickey Hills is the Lost Continent.

40. The last man you heard taking the p*ss out of the place is due to wake up any month now.

Is there a list of things that relate to where you are from? Why not share yours!?


8 comments on “You know you’re a Brummie when…

    • Thanks Jayne, some of the ‘new’ additions to the list on the Facebook group are funny and also true, but more for a ‘different’ generation of Brummies who wouldn’t get all of the things on this list! lol 😀

  1. I like No.28! I’ve even still got my “Bring the Games to Birmingham 1992” T-shirt!!
    Plus No 35 resonates! I’ve been known to phone into TV shows & Radio Stations to complain about them calling Manchester the 2nd City!

    • Haha, hmmm yeah Manchester – think it comes third or 4th (Liverpool argue with them over who follows us I believe?) but we are DEFINITELY the 2nd City!

  2. Go on holiday anywhere outside the uk and ask them to list 10 UK cities, the list would probably look something like this.
    1 London
    2 Liverpool
    3 Manchester
    4 Newcastle
    5 Bristol
    6 Oxford
    7 Cambridge
    8 Brighton
    9 Edinburgh
    10 Glasgow
    11 Southampton
    12 Dublin
    13 Belfast
    14 Nottingham

    in terms of population you might be the second city but in terms of reputation you wouldn’t crack top 10.

    actually, go on holiday anywhere outside the west midlands and the list would probably look similar.

Comments are closed.