You know you’re a Borderline when… – 10 signs you have BPD

Head Trip From Humanland

Head Trip From Humanland (Photo credit: Gemma.E.Taylor)

If there’s one thing about having BPD that I don’t mind it’s being able to make fun of my own condition – heck if other’s are going to anyway why not join them!?

They make jokes without knowing the reality, but I’m pretty sure the funniest jokes about BPD come from those of us who have it.

As such I thought I would put together my list of ‘You know you’re a borderline when…’ lines for you. 

I’m not sure if you will find these particularly funny or not. You may even think they are harsh and unfair, but living with BPD this is what it really feels like for me…

1. It’s like living groundhog day – yesterday never happened, tomorrow never will, all there is, is here and now.

2. You hated this person yesterday because they said something horrible to you, today they smile at you and you love them because you cannot learn from your past mistakes, it’s like they never happened.

3. The same as above applies to others behaviour, unless you have done the ultimate cut-off in which case they no longer exist at all in your mind and never did.

4. You can’t watch sad films because you become too emotionally involved with the story and are left devastated at the end.

5. People can’t recognise you by your hairstyle/dress sense because it changes so often you look like a different person every day.

6. Your partner/friend doesn’t reply to your text immediately you go in to a panic – they hate you and are abandoning you.

7. You can’t just tell someone you are really scared/upset about something you launch into into a massive dramatisation of how the whole thing is ‘so much worse for you’ than anyone else who may have ever experienced this before or will in the future.

8. Something upsets you or you do something wrong and you immediately feel you need to hurt yourself as punishment.

9. You feel suicidal over a small incident because you just feel emotional pain so much more than non-BP’s and the only thing that could make it stop is killing yourself.

10. The only way you can have stable relationships with people is is you have no emotional connection to them, superficial relationships are the only ones that aren’t like living in boiling water all the time.

What do other BP’s think?

Do these lines resonate with you?

What others would you add?

For the non-BP’s do any of these make sense to you?

Are they funny or just scary?

What lines would you add?


29 comments on “You know you’re a Borderline when… – 10 signs you have BPD

  1. Actually, I am surprised to see that by this criteria, I AM mostly cured od BPD! In this moment anyway! That’s funny to me. Tho in reading them, I am keenly re minded from where I come and can return to if not self aware. I think that’s important for BPD folks, and non alike. Tho most non’s are not so fortunate as to learn to look within, so just go with their own flow, unaware of themselves and how they effect the world around them, truly. Thank you for this quick look at where I’m at in the NOW!

    • That’s good news! Hope you manage to stay in control, I look forward to the day I can look at things like this and say I remember being like that, but I’m not anymore! 😀

  2. Wanna talk about not being able to watch sad movies? I watched a movie recently called Melancholia with Kirsten Dunst. It’s about a planet, Melancholia, that is heading towards Earth. Dunst is suffering from a serve depressive episode and isn’t bothered by the impending doom. I was left sitting on my couch feeling like there was no more happiness in the world! IT WAS HORRIBLE! I was reeling from that movie for the rest of the night. My boyfriend warned me after that I shouldn’t watch movies by that director alone 😛

    • Yeah, and chick flicks, I get so emotionally attached to the ‘nice’ characters, offended and angry at the ‘bad/mean’ ones and grossed out by weird ones, like the fat brother and sister in Bridesmaids – great film but I was uncontrollably devastated by some scenes, almost vomited when they were in the bath I was that disturbed by it! hehe. I much prefer horror and sci-fi any day because it’s so ‘unreal’ it doesn’t affect me 😀

  3. Yes I recognise most of these things. Just going through my journey of accepting that I have BPD (even though i’ve had it all my adult life). It’s strangely comforting to know there are others out there who are just like me.
    Laughed out loud about the one about not being able to watch sad films! So true!
    Thank you for blogging and helping people like me!

  4. Re: #1–A psychologist told me that for ADDs, there are two times: NOW and NOT NOW. From experience, I’d say that’s a pretty good description. (Sigh) 🙂

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  6. i am going thru an episode just now feel so empty so depressed suicidel feelings but if i feel so empty why am i crying so much

    • Sorry to hear that Carol 😦 I guess the tears come from the depression bit of how you are feeling, everything feels so hopeless and you feel so alone, but you aren’t even if there is no-one else there are those of us here who know what you are going through, we’ve been there too and probably will be again. Is there something you can do to look after yourself now? Can you get out and do something that is the opposite of how you feel – dancing, a comedy movie, basically anything funny/happy that may help lift and change your mood? Thinking of you at this difficult time and hoping it passes soon xxx

      • thanku for those kind words i wish i could go out but when i feel like this its so hard dont want to do anything its an effort to get my day started just hate myself for what ive become lost my home family job self respect. i watched someone talking on youtube about bpd said its not a mental illness we have been wrongly diagnoised its to do with they way are parents treat us from the age of 1 to 6 years old that effects us in later life this has made me feel worse. live on my own starting to hear and see things cant tell my boyfriend or friends dont love my boyfriend anymore just feel nothing for him

      • I’ve felt like that too, it can be hard just to get dressed 😦 I don’t really agree with what that person says, my BPD is more a result of the many traumas I have endured throughout my life, there was a lack of emotional care when I was a child but I wouldn’t say it was enough to cause this and at that young age it was better than when I got older. I hope you manage to ask for help and when you are feeling stronger maybe you should break things off with your boyfriend if you don’t want him any more as it will only make you feel worse hanging on to him? xx

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  8. “…the funniest jokes about BPD come from those of us who have it” <— I'll second that. Aside from number four (I usually am very detached when I watch sad films, so I hardly ever cry and can stomach a lot of the really devastating ones, but love them and think about them all day and days after if they strike a nerve), the rest are very accurate for me. heheh

    • hehe, thanks Paz. Yeah if I do watch sad films as well as crying I can’t get them out of my head, if I could detach while watching it would be easier I guess but even then the days after are tough!

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  10. Hi,

    I’m not sure if I had BDP &
    I am too embarrassed to go see someone about it.

    I always feel numb & feel as though I’m not alive.. Life is not real. I find my self angry over something so small, it could
    Be because I can’t find something in by bag or my shoe won’t go on and I start swearing and carrying in like an idiot. I binge eat often and I never know why & I sit there feeling sorry for myself because everyone does me wrong. I can
    Not cannot rely Anyone. everyone lets me down in some way.I feel alone the time &
    Tell myself I am
    Never going meet anyone because I’m so screwed up and when I do meet someone I think of excuses as to why it won’t work & that there only going to hurt me. then start to be cold towards them. My friends I love one day Then the next because they don’t return my call or message and then I feel as though they hate me. So then I stop taking to them and think of all the times they have let me down ( throwing more fuel into th fire) I hate everyone and I have isolated myself. I plan to go out when im in a good mood and then I change my mind later because I’m not in the mood. My driving only seems to be getting worse.. To the point that I could get out of the car and hit people with a baseball bat just because there not speeding or are just being
    Plane dumb. I find myself wanting to cry a lot but I feel weak crying, so I just get mad. I have started pulling out my hair again and constantly pick at my skin to form scabs. I tell myself how much I hate myself and how no one would want me. Always making plans to never succeed or follow the through with them. My moods change often one minute in happy the next I could cry or the next I could punch someone.
    I just want to be left alone all the time.
    And have thought About suicide, but never fine through with it.

    Seems to be getting worse?

    Does Anyone else feel like this? Is this “normal”

    Does life ever her better!

    • Hi Rachelle,

      Getting diagnosed with BPD is not something I would encourage people to seek out, as the help and support available with the diagnosis is poor at best and the label of being ‘BPD’ is like being thrown on the trash heap of life. What you describe could well be BPD but there are also other explanations as there is so much overlap of symptoms with different problems. if you are really struggling then it might be worth trying to overcome your embarrassment and seek help from your family doctor (I would recommend against mentioning BPD though!) Bipolar is another possibility with the symptoms you descibe, along with various other conditions.
      A lot of people feel like you describe 😦
      As for ‘normal’ – what is that anyway!? but what other people choose to classify it as, normal is nothing and everything all at once :/
      Getting better well, it can, I am ‘better’ from my BPD symptoms, but still face constant struggles that threaten to undermine my efforts at getting well, testing me all the time, pushing the limits of my patience and sanity, so I can’t promise any of it will get better, but we can improve certain things by our own efforts and determination to reach that ‘normality’ others proclaim is so wonderful 🙂
      Get some help and keep reading, there is plenty of good advice around if you want to try to help yourself 🙂
      Best Wishes x

  11. I love this, dead on, although I am in no way suicidal. I go running or drinking alcohol or not eating to punish myself, kind of the same. All my relationships are superficial…I even go back and forth with my family, who I love, but its just too hard to get emotional about them.

  12. It is such a shame BPD is looked upon badly. If anything, when I got my diagnosis, I was relieved. Finally I made sense. Everything you have listed is 100% me, and I have endured taunts my whole life and have hated myself just as long. BPD has helped me understand that my odd behaviors are a symptom of that and it’s not me. At last I know the kind of help I need after years and years of being misdiagnosed predominantly with depression, which I now see is another symptom. Now I know why life has been such a struggle but I now have some hope things can change.

  13. Hey I don’t resonate with #s 10,6,4,1
    But the rest spot on!!

    How about the love of arguing and instigating fights?

    Dreadful boredom and need to change everything around you, like move the furniture die your hair get a piercing etc just to fill the emptiness and boredom

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