October was the last time I posted here, and my stats sure show an understandably huge decline in readership – why come here if there is nothing new to read after all. A double-edged sword…
I miss the camaraderie of conversing with my fellow bloggers and keeping up with how everyone is getting on but at the same time that I do not ‘need’ my blog and reading others as a crutch to help me cope with what is still a very busy, emotional and challenging life is a clear indication of how much better I am now than I was.
That said, this may end up being a post of more than one part, as I don’t want to bore you senseless droning on for hours, but I do have a lot to cover in this long overdue update. I’m going to start with the most important topic (blog wise) BPD after all it was writing about living with Borderline Personality Disorder that really caused my blog to take off and draw people in so for my readers knowing how much this effects me now is certainly the most important thing they are interested in – for hope, inspiration and encouragement that they too can recover, so here goes… Continue reading →
Combining the Angel and Devil to become a whole person
When you live with BPD everything is black and white, there are no shades of grey.
Good or evil, nothing in between.
Everyone jokes about having an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other and them being stuck in the middle, with BPD the difference is there is no you in the middle, you are the angel and the devil at constant war with yourself to control you thoughts, feelings and emotions… it is a defence mechanism doomed to failure…
How does this impact on forming romantic relationships?
Let me take you on a journey through my world…
Today we’ll examine the Devil’s perspective, I’ll reveal the angel in another post…
This is me! The widow with 5 colours in her hair – yeah I have yellow, orange, red, green and violet colours in my hair now! lol Photo Credit : Sharon Howard
I haven’t posted anything I’ve written myself since September and it’s been even longer since I was writing on a regular basis but it’s not a bad thing that I haven’t been writing, honestly it’s not. I’ve not been writing because my life has continued to be on the up.
Even if (as I said in September) there are still many battles I continue to face on the whole life is continuing to move onwards and upwards.
So I thought it was time to share another progress update on the good, the bad and the ugly of how I am continuing in my recovery from BPD. Judge for yourselves if you think I am doing well! 😉 Continue reading →
English: Borderline personality sufferers often like to present themselves with an image that is “bad”; in ways including wearing “gothic” style clothing, heavy makeup, and other unusual fashion statements. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
As I stated in my recent post I have been experiencing a period of relative stability for a while now. Whether this is remission, recovery or will last remains to be seen but for now it’s all good. I thought it would be helpful, to me and others, to examine the DSM IV criteria for BPD and how I stand in relation to each currently… Continue reading →
Relationships can be difficult at the best of times. Every relationship has its own trials and tribulations, ups and downs. Life is tough, relationships are tough. But if you are in a relationship with a Borderline things can be much tougher than they are in any other relationship.
The decision to end a relationship can be a long drawn out decision about what is right or wrong for whom. Or it can be swift, bought on by some event that causes things to pass a repairable state. Such is life, we’ve all been there, BPD or not.
The biggest difference between these situations and the end of a relationship with someone with BPD is the huge amount of chaos, trauma and confusion that go go with it.
If the non-BP breaks up with the BP the likelihood is the decision will be more straight forward, in terms of how relationships come to and end as described above, but what is going on when the BP ends the relationship – well that is what I am hoping to explain in this post.