A diagnosis of BPD is not something to be taken lightly, it is life altering, in many ways.
Increasingly I am finding that people are contacting me through my blog regarding their relationship difficulties. Mainly the end of a relationship that has been quite turbulent or toxic, most often the person breaking off the relationship in these scenarios is a woman, and nearly every message includes reference to a concern that the ‘ex’ in question had/has BPD. I apologise if you have recently written to me about something like this, you may not like what you are about to read, but it’s nothing personal about anyone who has contacted me, just a general observation and attempt to clarify things a little…
I recognise that writing this post is likely to bring a few attacks and trolls around, but I need to share it anyway, I’m ready for the hate mail!
I think it is time to address a few key points about BPD and relationships…
English: An engagement ring. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Don’t you just love meeting new people and making new friends?
Even better, the random conversations that you can end up having as you get to know each other?
Such fun, and you learn things that inspire, amaze and even shock you.
I made a new friend recently and she told me the most beautiful story of her engagement, I asked her if it would be okay to share it as I thought my readers would find it very moving and she agreed I could so here, for you, is a love story better than anything you see in the movies (especially those silly chick-flicks! lol) because it’s TRUE!
*Disclaimer – names and certain details have been altered to protect identities but the story is still true*
Combining the Angel and Devil to become a whole person
When you live with BPD everything is black and white, there are no shades of grey.
Good or evil, nothing in between.
Everyone jokes about having an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other and them being stuck in the middle, with BPD the difference is there is no you in the middle, you are the angel and the devil at constant war with yourself to control you thoughts, feelings and emotions… it is a defence mechanism doomed to failure…
How does this impact on forming romantic relationships?
Let me take you on a journey through my world…
Today we’ll examine the Devil’s perspective, I’ll reveal the angel in another post…
Regrets, nearly everyone has them, lots of them. People spend so much time dwelling on what if’s and what could have been, if only they had made a different choice. Regretting choices, mistakes and even things that happen that were outside of your control.
I’ve never really understood this, as the title to this post states, regrets I only have one and that one regret is something that realistically I shouldn’t regret either, because I was too young to understand the consequences of the decision I made at that time… Continue reading →